


You Have No Idea

by armario



Category: Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Genre: Dickens forgive, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 17:30:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7447897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armario/pseuds/armario
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pip exhaled, a deep breath he had not known he had been holding. "Forgive me," he mumbled. </p><p>"But there is nothing wrong to forgive," Herbert murmured. Overcome with affection and the rest of his mixed emotions, Pip pulled Herbert closer with an arm round his waist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Have No Idea

"Are you well, Pip?"

Herbert's concerned tone, and the unfamiliar use of his first name, startled Pip from his uncomfortable daydreaming.

He blinked and rubbed a hand over his tired eyes, shifting from his position curled up on the chair to meet Herbert's worried gaze.

"What is it?" his friend repeated.

"I- it's nothing, I'm quite alright," Pip answered, but even to him, his voice wavered slightly.

Herbert pressed a palm to Pip's forehead then withdrew it. "No temperature," he remarked softly.

"I do not feel ill," Pip told him.

Herbert sat beside him, took his hand in a gesture of sympathy. "Then how do you feel?"

Perhaps he might normally feel rather odd (he wouldn't, thinking on it deeply, not at all) with Herbert holding his hand in such a manner. But he felt exhausted, and inherently /sad/, for a reason he could not place. So Herbert's ever-gentle touch was welcome and comforting.

"I feel a great sadness," Pip began, slow and careful. "Deep within me. And I cannot pinpoint the reason for its manifestation."

Herbert gave a small sigh. "I see."

Pip shivered a little, in cold, and something else.

"This will not do," Herbert declared. "I do not think you well, my dear boy, and so I will employ the only methods of care-taking I know. Get thee to bed, I think, and I will bring you a cup of warm cocoa. If you should desire, I will keep your company, and read your book aloud until you fall asleep, or wish for me to stop. Does this idea seem reasonable to you, Handel?"

Unable to keep back the small smile on his face, Pip instinctively squeezed Herbert's hand still in his. "It does indeed, Herbert. Thank you."

Herbert smiled, a pleased expression that lit up his whole face and made him look so endearing in the firelight that Pip briefly had to close his eyes.

"Handel," Herbert whispered. "Up you get."

Pip opened his eyes. He manoeuvred himself off the chair and forced himself to take the steps to his bedroom and then slid blissfully into his soft, warm bed.  
Minutes later, Herbert was up with a tray, and Pip's book.

"Is that better?" he asked.

"Much, thank you."

Herbert handed him his cup of cocoa. He sipped at it, feeling the hot liquid warm his belly.

"Shall I read to you?"

"Yes, please," Pip replied, pulling up the covers and closing his eyes, moving only a few times to bring his drink up to his mouth.  
Herbert began to read. He read quietly, but with lots of expression and a practised tongue. As Pip listened to his gentle tones, he certainly felt himself being lulled to sleep. 

"Herbert," he said softly, interrupting the man, who stopped straight away.

"Handel?"

Pip set down his drink and Herbert did the same.

"Will you come here?"

Pip felt his stomach doing knots, near wide awake now that he had poised such a potentially terrible question.

He dared open his eyes to study Herbert's expression, which was a mix of confused, surprised and anxious.

"When you say 'here'..." Herbert began, trailing off quickly. 

Pip was too tired to think on the consequences of what he was asking. He was very sad, lonely and needed someone, there was nothing wrong with that, certainly nothing wrong with receiving comfort from his best friend. Hopefully, said best friend felt the same.  
He drew back the covers in implication.

"Ah," Herbert said. Pip felt his heart sink until Herbert's expression turned amused and flushed with happiness. His friend moved to lie next to him, pulling the covers back over them both.

Pip exhaled, a deep breath he had not known he had been holding. "Forgive me," he mumbled. 

"But there is nothing wrong to forgive," Herbert murmured. Overcome with affection and the rest of his mixed emotions, Pip pulled Herbert closer with an arm round his waist. 

In answer, his friend wrapped an arm round his shoulders and kissed his hair.

"Would you like to sleep now, or talk a little?"

"If you would talk with me, I would be most grateful," Pip answered shyly, turning his face into Herbert's chest. 

"Then I would like to ask what spurred you on to invite me here," Herbert said dryly.

Pip sighed. "I do not quite know why myself," he replied, embarrassed. Herbert must have sensed this, for he rubbed Pip's arm encouragingly. 

"I did not feel so well, and you are so kind to me, that I needed this comfort," and the next part was said a lot more quietly, and rushed in self-consciousness: "yours, to be precise."

"And I am glad that you did, for I am so willing to give it," Herbert told him earnestly.

Pip rested his head against his friend's shoulder. "I should like to sleep now," he murmured. "If... if you would stay." 

"Of course."

Pip took a deep breath. "Would it make you recoil if I asked you to kiss me?"

He felt Herbert tense completely beside him, and thought he had ruined everything.

And then, "Perhaps you should try it, and see."

Pip could not go back now. He had made the decision. "Will you... will you kiss me, Herbert?"

 There was a suspense-filled pause in which the only sound was either of their rapid heartbeats, then Herbert's hands cupped his face and he pressed their mouths together.  
Embarrassed at his surprised noise of approval, Pip pressed back, holding Herbert's wrists so as not to break the kiss.  
It was sweet and gentle, like everything Herbert ever did. Pip tasted cocoa, Herbert's mouth moving against his. He deepened the kiss to no objection. He had no experience kissing a man, it was definitely different to kissing a woman, but just as pleasant, if not more, because this was his best friend, a charming and handsome fellow.

Pip pulled back a little, still very close, panting softly, just as Herbert was too. He still held his friend's wrists, and they had become very much pressed together, which was scary and exciting and arousing all at the same time.

"You have wanted to do this before?" Pip questioned. 

Herbert laughed, then said in a tone that made Pip shiver some how, "You have no idea."

Pip grinned, and they began to laugh, giddy with adrenaline and each other.

He could feel Herbert's arousal obviously pressing against his, this made him feel all kinds of emotions he had not experienced in this way before.

"You need to sleep," Herbert said, with obvious effort to be mature about this, when the last thing he wanted right now was sleep. 

"But Herbert-" Pip whispered, raising his hips to push his erection into his friend's, eliciting a ragged gasp.

"Listen," Herbert said, firm, but a little breathless. "You are not well enough for this. I will still be here in the morning."

Pip knew he was right, thus willed himself not to keep thinking on his friend's hands on his body, and the pleasures that could bring.  
Herbert pulled him back down so that he could hold him close. 

"Thank you," Pip said. Mischievous, he kissed him briefly.

"Sleep well," Herbert whispered.

"You know, Herbert, I do find myself feeling a lot better, for some unaccountable reason."

"How strange, my dear. I can't think why."

**Author's Note:**

> I belong in the sin bin for writing gay charles dickens fanfic . this is not what he wanted his legacy to be lmfao


End file.
